Tags

, , , ,

Dear Carl 

Yesterday your ashes were laid to rest. Your sister sent me a text message with a picture of your grave. It feels unreal. It reminds me of a song….one of the first songs you ever sent me to listen to, by Parlor Mob.  I loved this song because the words were so intimate….but they’ve taken on a new meaning now.  

I wanna see you

‘I wanna see you, the way you see yourself

I wanna see you, the way you see yourself

I wanna understand your pain

Know exactly where it rains inside your soul

I wanna know you, the way the flowers know the grave

I wanna know you, the way the flowers know the grave

I wanna tie around your head

Every silly word you said when you were still easy

I’ve been fighting just to keep you holding on

And it ain’t gettin’ any easier to give or get along

If we can’t breathe in the sky, we are stars

We are free to swell by all our childhood dreams

In the fire, we are flames, we are broken

I wanna heal you when the fruits still in your hand

Wanna heal you when the fruits still in your hands

I wanna rearrange the trees

And make a shelter from the thieves

Where you can be pure again

I’ve been fighting just to keep you holding on

And it ain’t gettin’ any easier to give or get along

If we can’t breathe in the sky, we are stars

We are free to swell by all our childhood dreams

In the fire, we are flames, we are broken

If we can’t breathe in the sky, we are stars

We are free to swell by all our childhood dreams

In the fire, we are flames, we are broken

……

How beautiful but heartbreaking?  That’s how I knew you…like the flowers know the grave. And there are flowers where you lay. And I know you. And you are no longer here with me. Where you should be. 

I love you my beautiful beautiful boy ❤️ 

Caroline xxx 

Advertisements